Codependency

The Hidden Pain of the Addicted Family

Dr. Tian Dayton, a survivor of an addicted family, gives a clear explanation of the ways drug addiction and/or alcohol abuse affect the addict’s loved ones. In the 1960s, when my Dad got treatment, we all thought that once the alcoholic got sober, the rest of us in the family would sort of get better …

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What is the difference between helping someone and enabling them?

Helping is doing for someone what they cannot do for themselves. It might include caring for a sick person, going to the store for an elderly neighbor, or driving someone who has no transportation to an AA meeting. When we do something for someone that they could and should — or perhaps should not — be …

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The Serenity Prayer And Me

Religion is extremely important to the great majority of people on this planet.  It gives them reasonably coherent systems of ethics and moral guidance, community, support in hard times, and hope for a better life.  In many cases, it gives their lives structure and meaning. I am not a religious person myself, instead thinking of …

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Strength? We don’t need no stinkin’ strength!

Nowadays I hear a lot of folks saying (to recovering people) things like “You’re so strong!” and “Be strong!”  I hear newcomers say “I pray for the strength to beat my addiction,” and other stuff like that.  While I understand the thinking behind such remarks (all too well), there are a few comments I’d like …

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What Is A High-Functioning Alcoholic?

Here at Sunrise Detox we run across a lot of misinformation about alcoholism, addiction, and abuse of alcohol and drugs. One of the more misunderstood issues is that of the high-functioning alcoholic. The stereotypical alcoholics who can’t keep a job, fail in their careers, destroy families and relationships and eventually end up jailed, homeless or …

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These Are Our Lives

My older daughter, Tanya, turned me on to this site.  Its purpose is to provide oral histories in interview form, and I think it’s a great idea.  As it happens, I know the woman who started it, and I think I probably know the young woman whose story I’m about to recommend.  (I’m not sure …

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Some Words About Resentments

There is a well-known Buddhist lesson concerning two monks who were traveling and came to a muddy stream.  There they observed a woman who was hesitating to cross, apparently concerned about soiling her clothing. The older monk approached the woman, bowed, and then picked her up and carried her across the stream.  He set her …

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George Carlin Was Sooooo Right!

I’ve been off the grid for the last few days on vacation, and just got to a WiFi connection. As a result, I hadn’t seen the news about the U.S. credit rating reduction. Sometimes you get lucky. With no intention of creating a political discussion here, and the assurance that I’ll ignore one if it …

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How Can I Help My Alcoholic Or Other Addict?

The short answer is, “You can’t.” Addicts of all kinds, including alcoholics, have to help themselves. They do not seek relief until they are so miserable that they see no alternative.  Therefore “helping” one is usually the worst possible thing that a friend or loved one can do. Making sure they have enough to eat, …

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Questions From Newcomers: How Do We Earn Respect And Trust When We Get Sober?

One of the common issues facing us in early recovery is the lack of trust and respect from others in our lives, whether family, friends or employers. While some — especially family — are often willing to accept our new, sober selves and welcome us back into the fold, there will always be some who …

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